When Laziness Drives Progress: Legendary Hacker Scripts
Do you know that feeling when routine tasks eat up precious time? One sysadmin solved this problem radically — he automated even his personal life. His legacy is a collection of bash scripts that became legendary in the IT community.
What is this project?
Hacker Scripts is a collection of scripts that were actually used — created by one engineer to automate his work and... personal life. The project earned nearly 50 thousand stars on GitHub for good reason — it's an anthem to laziness that drives progress.
Top 4 scripts that will surprise you
-
"Running Late for Dinner" (
smack-my-bitch-up.sh) — automatically sends his wife an SMS apologizing for being late from work. The script runs on a schedule if there are active SSH sessions after 9 PM. -
"Kumar's Savior" (
kumar-asshole.sh) — monitors a colleague named Kumar's email. Finds messages with keywords like "help" or "problem," rolls back the database, and responds with "don't worry, dude." -
"Hangover Monday" (
hangover.sh) — sends the boss an email saying "working from home" with a random excuse if the engineer hasn't logged into the server by 8:45 AM. -
"Scheduled Coffee" (
fucking-coffee.sh) — waits exactly 17 seconds (time to walk to the kitchen), then sends a command via telnet to the coffee machine to make a latte. After 24 seconds (preparation time), the drink is ready.
How does it work technically?
The scripts use:
- Cron for task scheduling
- Twilio API for SMS
- Gmail API for email
- Telnet for coffee machine control
Example cron configuration for the coffee script:
0 9-18 * * 1-5 /path/to/scripts/fucking-coffee.sh
Why do you need this?
- Inspiration — see how you can automate routine tasks
- Ready-made solutions — adapt the scripts for your own needs
- Humor — the project is charged with positivity and creative approach
Hacker Scripts is more than just funny scripts — it's a philosophy. The project shows that even the most unexpected tasks can be solved with elegant code. If you:
- Love automating everything
- Appreciate unconventional approaches
- Want to reduce routine operations
— definitely check out this repository. Who knows, maybe your next automated task will be making breakfast?
P.S. A coffee machine with an API is real. Check your kitchen equipment — maybe it's "hacker" too?
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